I didn't expect to be writing this post. I thought about deleting my previous post and just getting on with it instead of being open about why I've had a big change of heart (how blooming whimsical). Life is a funny, funny thing.
I hope you enjoy hearing about this part of my journey x
For those of you who don't know; a couple of months ago, I decided that I didn't want to play gigs anymore. I realised that recently, I always felt super nervous and stressed leading up to a gig.
I've been writing songs since I was 12. Sad songs, songs about heartbreak and disaster. I used to NEED to pour my heart out on a piece of paper. But I don't anymore. I've changed.
A couple of years ago, I started learning about the law of attraction and reading a lot of self help books. I started viewing the world with a more positive lens. There's truth in the fact that, we forget the people that hurt us, it's the negative feelings that can linger. I felt like every time I played a gig, I was visiting negative town.
So about three weeks ago, I released a song and decided to make it my 'last Holly Terrens show'.
Done and dusted.
A week later, I got a message asking me what time I wanted a soundcheck. Hilariously, I had completely forgotten that 4 months ago back in July, I'd agreed to play a show at Papera in Shinjuku (which I played last night).
I felt those same nerves leading up to the gig and when I arrived to the venue, no one spoke English which was really strange. There were no westerners there at all! Something felt a bit off, so I double checked the event.
The event was on a Sunday night. It was Friday. I was there two days early! I have never been two days early to anything before!
As I made my way back home, I thought 'ok, you've got two days to really get your head in the game'. I decided to ONLY think positively about the gig, my abilities and everything else.
Last night was one of my favourite gig experiences. I met two people who told me they'd seen me play previously at a different venue and came to hear me again. Hearing that was just so incredibly humbling, thank you.
I don't know what the future holds but I am believing more that I do belong on that stage sharing my songs.
Thank you so much to the people who have always supported my journey. Your kind words, comments on social media and encouragement will stay with me forever.
I'm Holly! Songwriter, singer, writer and musician.